


love was surely made for fools like me.

by skysplits



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 14:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11150661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skysplits/pseuds/skysplits
Summary: ‘I love you’ doesn’t always have to be said in a grand gesture. Sometimes, the ‘I love yous’ can come in subtle ways, and if you blink, you’ll miss them.Or,The one where I finally wrote the ‘9 Ways to Say I Love You’ trope.’ I went with 9, instead of 100 because I’m lazy as hell (peep all my unfinished works), and 100 sounded like too much of a commitment.





	love was surely made for fools like me.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [windowbedsthebest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/windowbedsthebest/gifts), [TheSpearDanes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpearDanes/gifts).



> For Ashley and Sarah. Thanks for everything. Happy (Well Over) 1 Year Anniversary of Garbagé FC!
> 
> #AllezGarbagéFC #ForeverGarbagé

_one_.

 

Tobin knew working long nights would be common as an intern, but she underestimated just how exhausted she’d be. Unluckily for her, she’s not getting much sympathy from Alex.

 

“You really should’ve expected it you know,” teases Alex on the other end of the line. “And I told you not to come whining to me after your first all nighter.”

 

“I know. You’re the worst girlfriend ever.”

 

“Oh, you’re so funny.” Alex chuckles before taking a different tone. “Really though, I’m worried. Are you sure you’ll be fine working ten-hour shifts for the whole summer? This is only your third week. I feel like every time I see you, your life expectancy goes down by half. ”

 

“Alex,” Tobin sighs, and the guilt of worrying her creeps in. “I’ll be fine. Just come over and keep me company.”

 

“You sure you don’t want to sleep?”

 

“No,” Tobin says, repressing a yawn. “I mean, yeah, but I don’t want to mess up my sleep schedule any more than I already have.”

 

”Right, because an hour nap would really affect it that much.”

 

“Stop judging me,” Tobin whines. “And focus on driving. Wouldn’t want you to crash before you see me a final time.”

 

Alex scoffs as a response.

 

They sit in comfortable silence for a little bit, then Tobin asks, “What’d you do while I was in studio today?”

 

“I thought you wanted me to focus on driving?”

 

“Yeah. I miss you more than I thought I did, I guess,” Tobin mumbles, letting her words trail off at the end. Alex laughs anyway.

 

“Weell,” Alex drags out as she thinks. “Let’s see, since I don’t have terrible employers--”

 

“They’re not terrible!”

 

“I actually got some time to relax. Got my nails done with Kelley and Chris, which was nice, you know. Getting pampered. Third-wheeling was considerably less fun. So I guess I missed you, too.”

 

“Understandable. I’m miss-able.”

 

“Sure. Then we went shopping for the apartment next year. Oh, I forgot to text you, we decided on a color scheme. Navy, white, and a little gold.”

 

“Nautical.”

 

“Yeah, we channeled Kelley’s inner sorority girl.”

 

“When are you going to let that go?” Tobin asks. “She was in one for like a month freshman year.”

 

“When she can build a time machine and undo it.” Alex smoothly responds. “And then Christen had to leave for a family thing, and Kell and I went to go get coffee. Did you know the new Starbucks has a drive-thru, by the way? They’re super fast. Got iced coffee, you called, I dropped Kelley off, and now I’m coming over.”

 

“Oh…” Tobin says, instantly longing for some coffee.

 

Alex laughs, already knowing. “You need to curb your addiction, Tobs.”

 

“Alex, don’t laugh at my pain, that’s mean. Karly’s the Keurig’s life was taken too soon last weekend during family dinner when you--”

 

“Stop.”

 

“And Christen got super drunk--”

 

“Tobin, I remember!”

 

“Well if you remember, you should know it’s a sensitive topic for me! And you owe me a new Keurig!” Tobin says. “Anyways, coffee sounds good. Can we go get some? I’m gonna need a boost if we’re hangin’ out.”

 

“You could always just sleep.” Alex mumbles, embarrassed at the flashback to the dinner Tobin was referencing. “Besides, we don’t have to go out for coffee.”

 

“Alex--”

 

Alex stops Tobin’s protest. “I already got two.”

 

 

_two._

 

Tobin quickly finishes her drink. Alex begrudgingly gives her the rest of hers because apparently, “I need the energy, Al.”

 

Alex doesn’t wake Tobin when she predictably falls asleep on her shoulder thirty minutes later.

 

 

_three._

 

Her birthday turns out to be another long night spent at the studio. It’s nearly 10 p.m. when Abby lets her go, and Tobin’s eyes are so tired she nearly hits their building’s mailbox when she parks the car.

 

She figures Alex is already sleeping, considering Alex never really celebrated birthdays growing up, and quietly walks into their apartment, toeing her shoes off and setting her backpack down in the hallway.

 

A soft flicker in the kitchen catches her eye. “Al?” she calls out, walking over.

 

Two plates, a few candles, and a “Happy Birthday!” balloon tied to her chair greet her, and Tobin’s heart fills with gratitude at Alex’s attempt for romance. She sticks a piece of cold garlic bread in her mouth and immediately takes it out, thinking, _“Al definitely made that from scratch.’_ Blowing out the candles, Tobin turns around, and spots Alex curled up on the living room sofa, sleeping in a nice dress and a full face of make-up.

 

Tobin squats down ungracefully next to Alex’s head, tipping backwards, having to grab onto the couch to regain her balance. Alex starts to stir at the sudden jerk of the couch.

 

“Hi, Alex.”

 

“Tobs,” comes the groggy response. “What time is it?”

 

“Ten-thirty.”

 

“What?” Alex springs up, rubbing her eyes to get a better look at the clock. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I sat down after I got your text, I thought I would take a quick catnap, I didn’t realize--.”

 

“It’s okay, Al, really.” Tobin says, standing up with Alex and helping her wipe away the now-ruined mascara under her eyes. “I just got back, anyway. I’m sorry I was late.”

 

They make their way to Tobin’s bedroom for the summer and get ready for bed. It’s a routine they perfected over the school year when they first started dating--one they’ve had to reprise a bit to fit into the confined space of a smaller apartment, one a little more uncomfortable.

 

Normally, Tobin would really hate such a cramped living situation. But Tobin thinks a tiny apartment could make her happy for a long time, so long as it was Alex she kept bumping into.

 

They crawl into bed together, and Alex turns to face Tobin, pressing a kiss on her shoulder saying, “Happy birthday. And sorry again. But you know, some of us actually need sleep to function. We’re not all super-human.”

 

“It’s okay, Al,” Tobin smiles, sincere. “The food uh, looked really good.” Not as sincere. “Besides, it was really sweet of you to do anything at all. I know birthdays really aren’t that big of a deal to you.”

 

“Yeah,” Alex replies, sleep edging her out, little by little. “Yeah, but you are.”

 

Those sweet words are the last thing she says before giving in to her exhaustion.

 

_four._

 

Tobin wakes up to next morning to Alex hurriedly pressing a small kiss on the corner of her mouth before she heads out the door to go to work.

 

It’s a kiss Tobin wouldn’t mind repeating over and over again, for the rest of their lives.

 

_five._

 

On Tobin’s first three day weekend, Kelley insists that the gang take a trip to an amusement park.

 

_“For the hashtag Insta aesthetic, Tobin.”_

 

_“I didn’t know you still paid KKG dues!”_

 

It’s hot and sticky, but in regular fashion, Tobin tries to keep an upbeat attitude. That is, until Sydney suggests that they ride the biggest coaster at the park.

 

“It goes straight up, then straight down. It’s insane. It has a three second wait before it drops from the top, it’s the fastest ride here,” Kelley rambles (really only to Christen, but the rest of the group listens anyway, as a courtesy).

 

To Tobin’s dismay, the park is relatively empty, so they’re only in line for fifteen minutes before she finds herself right behind the gate, next in line for the ride.

 

“Tobs?” Alex’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah, fine. Why?”

 

“It’s just, my hand kinda hurts.”

 

 _'Oh_.' Tobin looks down at the vice grip she has on Alex’s hand before quickly letting go, wiping her palms on her shorts. “Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. Are you nervous? We don’t have to ride.”

 

“Would you mind if I sat out?”

 

“C’mon, Tobs. It’ll be fun!” Dom’s voice pipes up from the row next to them. “Besides, if you sit out, then our numbers would be all messed up.”

 

“Dom,” Sydney chides, bumping her boyfriend’s hip. “It’s cool. If you want, we don’t have to ride this one.”

 

“Aw,” Kelley says quietly, then quickly back-pedals when she catches the look on Christen’s face. “I mean, for sure! We either all ride it, or none of us do! It’s okay, Tobs.”

 

“No, no. You guys should ride it, but I actually do think I’ll sit this one out.”

 

“Are you sure?” Alex asks, her brows furrowed. “I can go with you.”

 

“No, I don’t want you to miss out.” Tobin reassures, giving her a smile. “Have fun, okay?”

 

She turns around and squeezes her way out of the line, which has gotten considerably longer since they got in it. After a couple dozen, ‘Excuse mes’ she’s back outside the gates, and finds herself an empty bench to sit down on.

 

She’s scrolling through Instagram when she feels someone slide into the seat next to her.

 

“Hi, stranger,” Alex smiles, poking her shoulder. “Whatcha lookin at?”

 

“Alex, are you done? Where’s everyone else?”

 

“Eh, I decided not to ride it.”

 

Tobin’s shoulders drop as she realizes what Alex did. “Al--.”

 

“It’s okay. It’s not as fun without you, anyway.”

 

_six._

 

Alex is settled in the nook of Tobin’s couch, feet propped up and back leaning against the side. Her glasses are forgotten on the side table, and she’s scrawling away at some papers her parents sent over for their new insurance provider. It’s a nice sight to come home to.

 

“Here.” Tobin hands her a cup of tea and Alex accepts it wordlessly, thanking her instead with a small smile. Tobin doesn’t mind--she’s learned a lot about Alex in the few months they’ve been together, and she loves the way she gets lost in her work, whatever work it might be.

 

They sit on opposite ends of the couch, Alex turned towards Tobin and Tobin turned towards the T.V., trying to find HGTV (their guilty pleasure) without Alex’s help.

 

A few minutes later, Tobin’s looking up, _“hgtv verizon fios”_ on her phone when Alex mindlessly hands over a piece of paper before going to the kitchen to grab dinner.

 

Tobin takes it and starts reading, and a bunch of legal jargon that she can’t understand stare back at her. She doesn’t know why Alex passed it to her until her eyes reach the section entitled, “ _Emergency Contact Information_.” The only thing Alex has filled out under it is the name. Tobin’s name.

 

She understands _that_.

 

Smiling, she fills out the rest (taking extra care to write in, ‘Girlfriend’ under ‘Relationship’) and signs the bottom before Alex returns with a heated plate of leftovers.

 

Alex puts the paper back in the stack, and neatly places it in the folder to mail back to her parents the next day before finding her spot next to Tobin. The only thing she says of it is, “Thanks.”

 

“Anytime.”

 

_seven._

 

They spend July 4th at Alex’s childhood home in California. Alex is setting the table with her sisters while Tobin helps Pam and Michael in the kitchen, already having won them over with her charm.

 

Tobin’s carrying a plate of mashed potatoes over to the dining room when she hears her name mentioned.

 

“I can’t believe mom and dad are letting you live with Tobin next year. They never let me live with my boyfriend in college.”

 

She abruptly stops at the end of the hallway, and tilts her ear so she can better hear the conversation.

 

“That’s because your boyfriend was a tool, Jeni,” Jeri retorts. She dodges the napkin ring Jeni throws at her with ease before saying, “Jeni’s got a point. You’ve only been dating a few months. You didn’t even want to move in with Serv, and you were head over heels for him. How’d you get them to say yes, Al?”

 

“I don’t know,” Alex mumbles, suddenly hyper-focused on placing the forks. “I just… yeah, I don’t know.”

 

“Do you like her? A lot?”

 

“Of course she does, stupid,” Jeri says. “Why would she want to live with her otherwise?”

 

“I don’t know! That’s why I’m asking. Don’t you think it’s a little fast, Lex?”

 

“Yeah, maybe you should slow down.”

 

There’s a few seconds where none of them talk, and Tobin almost gives her cover away and walks in to save Alex when she hears a voice.

 

“I mean maybe it’s a little fast.” Tobin’s chest feels heavy, but she doesn’t have time to react any further as Alex continues. “But it just, I don’t know. It feels right. I liked Serv, I did, but I always felt like I needed him, and it was always exhausting with him. With Tobin, it’s like...” The pause Alex takes feels painfully long. “She makes me want to feel what I feel whenever I’m with her, for the rest of--uh. For a long time. I just never get tired of her.”

 

“Huh.” Jeni clicks her tongue. “So what are exactly you saying?”

 

“She’s saying she’s in loo--ve.” Jeri laughs, giving Alex a light shove.

 

“Jeri, c’mon! All I’m saying is that…” Alex sighs and shrugs her shoulders. “I’m really happy. With her. Like… happy I never imagined could come with another person. _Stupid_ happy.”

 

Tobin smiles. She’s happy, too.

 

_eight._

 

The last night at Pam and Michael’s house, Alex and Tobin sit in the backyard and watch the the light in the firepit. It’s fairly cool for a California evening in July, but it’s comfortable, and Tobin enjoys sitting in the silence, reflecting. On the past eight months. On the last few days with Alex’s family. On her and Alex.

 

The last of the light is about to burn out, and it’s flickering a little bit. Tobin’s legs are pulled in against her chest, and she rests her chin on knees and looks at Alex, whose gaze is fixed on the fire.

 

There’s one thing Tobin knows for sure, at the end of her reflection. As the light flickers out, and a thin, concentrated line of smoke puffs out of the fire for the last time that night, Tobin says what she’s been dying to say since she heard Alex talking to her sister a week ago.

 

“Hey, Al?”

 

Alex is still looking at the pile of ash in the pit. “Hmm?”

 

“Don’t change your mind about me, okay?”

 

And still, the only thing Alex looks at is the firepit. But the two words that barely make it to Tobin’s ears keep her company all night long.

 

“I won’t.”

 

_nine._

 

September comes around quickly, and Alex and Tobin transition smoothly into their senior year.

 

They finish dinner with Kelley and Christen, who head to date night at the movies, so Alex and Tobin drive home without their best friends.

 

It’s a short ride, and at the end of it, the pair find themselves perched in the bed of Alex’s truck (really, her dad’s truck, but she _maybe_ crashed her car two weeks ago and is currently borrowing this one. Maybe.), drinking the two slurpees Alex picked up while Tobin was getting gas at 7-11.

 

Alex is the first to talk. “Remember in July when we spent two weeks at my house?”

 

Tobin’s only response is a nod.

 

“One night I was talking to my sisters, and I think while we were talking I realized something.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. I realized that I always want to be with you. I think with all of my previous relationships, I had to be around them to be me. To feel like me. But with you, I don’t. You’re important to me, Tobin, but I can be without you.” A slurp. “But I also don’t want to. I don’t ever want to.”

 

“Me too, Al.”

 

“Good. And remember when I said that I wouldn’t change my mind about you?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I might have lied. Because now I love you. I think I’m gonna love you for a long time. I think… I think I’m not gonna change my mind about that.”

 

Tobin softly smiles, her straw in between her lips. She doesn't really feel any sort of major, life-altering, earth-shattering experience coming her way--nothing like Kelley described it might be like. The only thing she can feel is… peace. And warm. Like Alex just said what she's been saying to her for months--simply in different ways. It just feels so  _them_.

 

“I guess I’ll forgive you. Ya know, for being a liar.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“M’hmm. ‘Cause I love you too.”

 

“Don’t change your mind about me,” Alex laughs, bumping Tobin’s shoulder with her own.

 

Tobin leans to press a kiss against Alex’s lips. It’s not long--it doesn’t need to be. Tobin figures they’ll have the rest of their lives for that.

 

“I won’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't as well polished as I'd like it to be, but it'd been months since I published Talex, and I figured you wouldn't mind.
> 
> Shoutout to Grey's Anatomy for helping me out with the last way to say I love you. "I don't ever want to" will always be one of my favorite lines from that show, even if Derek and Meredith sometimes annoyed me.


End file.
